


When Three Awful People Love Each Other Very Much

by shinysuicune



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Adultrio - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Finger Sucking, Fingering, Flirting, Hand Jobs, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mild Blood, Minor Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Minor Violence, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M, character cameo, eventually, these are all going to be cheesy and dumb and self indulgent idc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-08-06 23:15:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysuicune/pseuds/shinysuicune
Summary: A collection of short fulfilled prompts involving Hisoka, Illumi, and Chrollo's relationship as they experience college life together.





	1. Bet

**Author's Note:**

> My first adultrio fic!! I enjoyed writing this first chapter and I have more on the way, so I hope someone out there will enjoy reading it. That being said, this is also my first time writing for Illumi and I want to explore writing with him more, so please be gentle *sweats* lol I know I obviously make them all fluffier than they really are, but domestic fluff is my guilty pleasure, some of y'all may know. Anyway, feedback is the best, so comments and kudos are appreciated <3 
> 
> p.s. I know, I know the title isn't great, but it was the only thing I could come up with at the moment, and well...I just wanted to POST lmao

“Goodbye, Illumi~” Hisoka kissed him with more passion than he usually did for a goodbye kiss. Illumi’s eyes widened at the unexpected vigor, but he returned the kiss like he normally did. Chrollo rolled his eyes at the obvious flaunt. 

When Hisoka pulled back from Illumi, he turned to Chrollo, and hugged him tightly in his arms. His chin was almost hitting the top of Chrollo’s head. “Goodbye, Chrollo~” 

Chrollo didn’t hug him back. He just let his arms dangle at his side. His mouth was closed tightly in a flat line, as he looked directly ahead, staring at nothing except the bare wall. When Hisoka pulled back, he smiled at him coyly, and Chrollo responded by giving him a blank expression. Hisoka turned away and walked out the door, waving at both of them behind him. 

“What game are you two playing now?” Illumi asked Chrollo. 

“We have a bet to see how long we can go without kissing one another. Hisoka’s tactic is to tease me. I’m letting him think that he’s winning.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Only since last night. The trick is that we can still be intimate with one another. Just no kissing.”

“Not even on the cheek?”

“Nothing.”

“Well, I hope this ends soon. I hate being in the middle of your mind games. You guys are exhausting sometimes, to be honest.” 

“Don’t worry, Hisoka won’t last long. He has his tactics and I have mine.” Illumi rolled his eyes, as Chrollo leaned over and kissed him on the temple. “We still have you, so we won’t be totally kiss deprived.”

“I should ban you both from kissing me until it ends.”

“Don’t be so cruel, Lu. We need you to survive.” 

“Whatever.” Illumi couldn’t help but to chuckle. 

—

That night, the three of them were sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Well...they were suppose to be watching a movie. Hisoka was busy making out with Illumi, as Chrollo sat there eating his bowl of popcorn. Hisoka and Illumi making out when they were together was nothing new. In fact, if they weren’t all over each other, Chrollo might be concerned. This time, however, Chrollo knew Hisoka was hamming it up, making as many sounds as he could, and acting like he was going to swallow Illumi whole. 

“Illumi needs to breathe, Hisoka.” 

Hisoka pulled back from him, and a line of spit followed. To his surprise, Illumi took a deep breath. How long were they making out for? He doesn’t know. All he knows is that Chrollo refused to look at them while they were doing it. Hisoka let out a sigh. His mouth was red and puffy; Chrollo would probably find it cute if he wasn’t so frustrated. 

“You don’t want to join us, Chrollo?”

“Your jealousy tactic isn’t going to work. We are all together. I’m not going to be jealous of both of you making out in front of me. I’m actually offended that you think this would get to me.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you jealous. I was trying to display my skill, and show you what you’re missing.” 

“You don’t have to show me. I do miss it.” 

“So you admit it.” 

“Am I not allowed to talk about how much I miss kissing you? It doesn’t mean I lose.”

Illumi got up, and sat himself in Chrollo’s lap. He pressed himself into his chest, and gave him a deep kiss. He could taste the popcorn salt on his tongue. Hisoka watched them with a look of intense desire. He could watch them all day if they let him. When Illumi pulled back, Chrollo smiled at him softly. 

“There.” Illumi explained, “Now you have kissed Hisoka indirectly, and you can stop using me to play games.” 

Chrollo doesn’t know if he could actually taste the strawberry candy that Hisoka had been eating previously, or if it was just his imagination. 

“Okay, no more getting you involved.” Chrollo kissed his cheek. 

—

“Does a blowjob count as a kiss?” Hisoka had asked, as he was lying in bed with Chrollo. 

Illumi still lived at home with his family, and had gone back for the night. Chrollo and Hisoka had a small cheap apartment closer to the campus. They had tried to convince Illumi on multiple occasions to move in with the two of them. Illumi stayed the night so often; he basically lived there anyway. However, the Zoldyck blood within him, called him home. He wished to stay with his younger siblings for the time being and help his mother when his father was not around. Chrollo and Hisoka had no family to go back to, so they couldn’t quite understand it, but Illumi promised that someday, when he was ready, he would move in. 

“A blowjob counts.” Chrollo replied. 

“Why?”

“It’s sucking on the body. If I sucked somewhere else, like the neck for example, it would be considered a kiss. Therefore, a blowjob is against the rules of the bet.” 

“That is unfortunate.” Hisoka proceeded to whine into his pillow. 

“I didn’t know you wanted to suck my dick that badly. I’m flattered.”

Hisoka lifted his head, and pressed himself on top of Chrollo until he was leaning over him. Their faces were so close to one another that their noses were touching. Hisoka’s hair was tickling the sides of Chrollo’s face. 

Chrollo tried his best not to move as Hisoka stroked the side of his face with his sharp nails. 

“I can’t wait until you lose~” 

Chrollo smiled gently, and rested his hand over Hisoka’s own. 

“You have beautiful eyes.”

“I know what you’re doing, Chrollo.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re being romantic...”

“I’m only telling the truth.”

“You’re using that dreamy voice, because you think you can get me in the mood, but it’s not going to work.” Hisoka rolled off of him, faced the opposite direction, and tucked himself under the covers. “Goodnight~” 

Chrollo had the biggest urge to wrap his arms around him, but knew if he fell asleep like that, he might kiss him in the morning without thinking. So instead, he turned his back to him as well. 

This was a lot tougher than he thought it would be. 

—

Chrollo had just gotten out of class when he received a text from Illumi to meet him and Hisoka for lunch. As he walked to his car, he couldn’t stop thinking up ways to get Hisoka to kiss him. It was getting difficult at this point to be creative enough to outsmart the red head. 

“Ow!” 

Chrollo turned his head to see a girl cupping her mouth, and her friend consoling her. 

“Are you okay?” Her friend asked frantically. 

The girl lifted her hand from her mouth, and her lip was bleeding profusely. 

“I tripped over the step and bit my lip!” The girl yelled, and furrowed her brows in anger. 

That’s when Chrollo had an epiphany. 

—

Hisoka and Illumi were waiting outside the restaurant when Chrollo pulled into the parking lot. 

“Chrollo!~” Hisoka waved to him. 

When Chrollo walked up to the both of them, something was obviously wrong. 

“Your lip is bleeding.” Illumi pointed out. 

“Yeah, I know. I bit it really hard. I keep wiping it off, but it won’t stop bleeding.”

Hisoka was glaring at his lip intensely. Chrollo could see his pupils dilate. Hisoka grabbed his chin, and leaned in to get a better look at the cut. His expression was hungry. Chrollo could tell he wanted, so badly, to lick the blood from Chrollo’s mouth. 

Hisoka pulled his face back, but lifted his thumb, to where it was barely hovering over Chrollo’s lip. Chrollo grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away swiftly. Hisoka looked surprised, as if he had been lost in thought. 

“I won’t have you wiping the blood and counting it as a kiss to your thumb.”

“I really almost kissed you~” Hisoka admitted. It was a praise to Chrollo’s cleverness. 

Suddenly, Chrollo felt another hand grab his arm, as Illumi pulled him in for a kiss. Hisoka gasped with feigned shock. 

“Lu, you’re suppose to be on my side~” 

“I don’t play sides. Your game is dumb. I miss seeing you guys be affectionate. Now you both acting like you’re scared to touch each other. All for what? A bet.”

“I’m sorry if we upset you.” Chrollo held his hand tightly, and Hisoka wrapped an arm around Illumi’s shoulder. 

“How was the blood?~” Hisoka whispered into his ear. 

“I couldn’t really taste it. You would have been disappointed.”

“Nonsense~” 

—

It was a Saturday night when Hisoka and Chrollo were alone in bed, once again. Even though the bet had only included no kissing, neither one of them had even made the move to be intimate with one another. It was too risky. 

Chrollo was propped against the pillows. He had been reading, but now his eyes were too tired to comprehend the words on the page. He placed the book on the nightstand, and Hisoka laid himself over his chest, pressing his face to the inside of his neck. 

“I miss being with you~” Hisoka admitted to him.

“I’m right here.”

“I meant...I miss having sex...”

“You’ve been with Illumi, haven’t you? So I know you aren’t sex deprived.”

“It’s different. I love having sex with Illumi, but I love having sex with you just as much. Can I tell you something?” 

“What?” 

Hisoka was so close to him, he could feel the heat radiating off his skin, and the touch of his hot breathe at his ear. 

“You’re soo good to me~ I think I might die if don’t you touch me.”

Damn. Chrollo was getting aroused more quickly than he thought he would. He swallowed hard. 

“We can still fuck. It’s not against the rules.” 

Hisoka reached for the inside of Chrollo’s waistband, grabbed his cock, and began to pump it absentmindedly. Chrollo gasped at the cool touch. 

“I almost suggested we have phone sex with Illumi, but I think he’s busy. It’s been awhile since the three of us were intimate together.”

“Next time...” Chrollo replied hoarsely. 

“He’s so pretty, isn’t he?~”

“Yes...very. So are you.”

“I know he has a good hand, I’m a little rough~” Hisoka was always pretending to be more shy and modest than he really was. He knew he could get Chrollo to compliment him that way. 

“No, I-I like it. I always have. You feel good.” 

Hisoka hummed, and pressed his nose to Chrollo’s brow, making sure not to touch any part of his face with his lips. Chrollo almost lifted his fingers to Hisoka’s mouth, but he stopped himself, and stuck them into his own. 

“Look at you...sucking on your own fingers...You look desperate~” 

Chrollo pulled them out with a loud pop. 

“I can’t have your mouth on them.”

“It was a good look on you~” 

Chrollo slipped his hand down the back of Hisoka’s underwear, and stuck two fingers deep inside him roughly. Hisoka halted the movement of his hand, and let out a high-pitched moan at the intrusion. 

“Is that good?” Chrollo asked him, pulling his fingers back out, and slipping back in, once again. The angle wasn’t the best, but Hisoka seemed to be reacting well. 

“Mmmm~” Hisoka nodded, before he continued messaging Chrollo’s cock. He needed some kind of lubricant, but they were out, and he couldn’t use his mouth. It really was vexing. Chrollo could feel Hisoka’s own arousal pressing into his hip. He used his other free hand to caress it gently through the fabric. “Oooh you’re a tease~” 

Chrollo felt brave suddenly, and turned his face to look Hisoka in the eyes. One good thrust of his fingers, and Hisoka nearly clacked their foreheads together. He used the hand on Chrollo’s cock to rub gently against the tip. 

Chrollo had lost himself in the pleasure, and the moment he heard Hisoka let out a soft whine, he couldn’t take it any longer. So he leaned in and kissed him. Right on the mouth. It was a reaction he couldn’t seem to control. 

Hisoka kissed him back, and suddenly all their hand movements were forgotten. There were no more motions except for their mouths against one another, as Hisoka tried his best to shove his tongue down Chrollo’s throat. 

When they parted, they stared at one another, breathing heavily. 

“Fuck.”

“You lost!~” Hisoka laughed. “I knew you would-“

Chrollo cut him off with a hard kiss, and rolled on top of him to shut off his boasting. 

—

“So this game is finally over?” Illumi asked, bringing the hot cup of coffee to his lips and blowing, “We can go back to normal?” 

“Yep! Chrollo kissed me, so he lost~”

“I couldn’t resist. Your mouth was so close to mine...and you kept making those sweet noises.”

“I don’t blame you for the loss. I wish I could have been there.” Illumi smirked. “So what were the stakes, anyway?”

“Oh, the loser has to get the winner’s name tattooed on them~”

Illumi almost spit out his coffee. 

“Y-You’re joking?”

Hisoka grinned. He had never seen Illumi look so shocked. 

“It’s gonna be a small tattoo!” Chrollo insisted. 

“You should get Illumi’s name next to mine.” Hisoka sat down in Illumi’s lap, and wrapped his arms around his neck, “Then he won’t be left out~” 

“No, thanks!” Illumi begged, “I’ll pass...”

“Aww, you’re no fun~” Hisoka nuzzled into his long sleek hair. 

“Where should I get it?” Chrollo asked, rolling up his sleeves. 

“Ooh make it a tramp stamp~” 

“No.”

“How about on the chest?” Illumi suggested. 

“I don’t know. I take my shirt off a lot.”

“Chrollo, you’re starting to sound like you’re ashamed to have my name on your skin. I’m disappointed.” Hisoka pouted. 

“I’m just trying to think of what would look best. I don’t want it to be tacky.”

“How about...” Hisoka reached across the table to grab his hand, and turn it over “on the inside of your wrist? Right above your pulse.”

“That’s so cheesy.” Illumi stated. 

“I think it’s sweet~” 

“That might work.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll get it in cursive.” 

“Don’t forget to dot it with a heart suit~” Illumi winked. 

“Of course.”


	2. Dance

Hisoka and Illumi slowly intertwined their fingers in a tight embrace. Their palms were blood red, and sticky with sweat from gripping each other for such a long period of time. Hisoka’s left hand was pressed gently at Illumi’s waist, just above the hip, while Illumi’s right clutched Hisoka’s shoulder with great force. 

Hisoka had twisted them suddenly, taking far too quick of a step to the side, and landed his sole on the top of Illumi’s foot. 

Illumi stopped their movements abruptly as he brought his face close to Hisoka’s own. The tips of their noses brushed against each other, and Hisoka smiled deviously at Illumi’s frustrated expression. 

“If you step on my foot one more time,” Illumi spoke through clutched teeth, “I will never dance with you again.” 

“Of course~” Hisoka beamed, entirely amused. 

They continued to dance around the room to the beat of whatever song happened to be playing next. Illumi had found an old vinyl player, and had given it to Chrollo as a gift. He knew the man was a collector of many things, and that it was something he would enjoy having. The songs on this particular record were much too jazzy for Hisoka’s bubblegum pop taste, but Illumi was always content to listen to anything that anyone played for him. 

As they turned around the room continuously, picking up a pace to better match the swirling tempo, Hisoka heard a door open from the room behind him. 

“Chrollo, would you like to join us?~” He chimed. 

“No. I just want to enjoy the view.”

Hisoka gazed into Illumi’s large obsidian eyes as they swayed back and forth. 

“Me too~” 

He stuck out his tongue, and Illumi, who could see his course of action, quickly closed his eyes before Hisoka managed to lick the lid slowly, and flick his tongue across the brow. 

Illumi didn’t respond to the strange action. He just blinked his eyes back open as if it was the most normal thing in the world for Hisoka to try and lick his eye. 

They turned around and Hisoka managed to step on Illumi’s foot once again. Illumi retaliated by stepping on Hisoka’s foot as hard as he could. 

He knew Hisoka was stepping on him on purpose. The trickster was much too graceful to misstep so many times without a reason. 

“Mmm~ that feels good.”

Hisoka glared over Illumi’s shoulder to see Chrollo, sitting on the couch in nothing but a short towel wrapped around his waist. His skin looked damp, and his hair was dripping wet. He had just taken a shower, and while he usually didn’t wait around to dry off, he was caught up in watching the two of them interact so playfully. 

Hisoka locked eyes with him from across the room, and suddenly he felt very overheated when his gaze fell to his bare muscled chest. 

The song stopped playing, and the record had ended. Illumi pressed himself against Hisoka closer than before, and kissed down the side of his jaw. The touch of his lips were soft and pleasant, but it made Hisoka desire the sharp edge of teeth against his skin instead. Illumi stopped before Hisoka had the chance to encourage it. 

“It’s my turn to take a shower.” He whispered into Hisoka’s ear. 

“Can I shower with you?~”

“Then I would never get anything accomplished.” He grinned into his skin, “Besides, you already took your shower.”

“I could use another one. The dancing made me break a sweat~” 

“You’ll be breaking one again later tonight.” He teased, as he pulled back, his fingers slipping from Hisoka’s hand. It had already begun to feel quite empty. He walked towards the restroom, patting Chrollo’s knee as he went. “Besides, you can keep Chrollo company while I’m gone.”

The door shut behind him, and Hisoka looked to Chrollo, who had been silent through the exchange. Suddenly, a deep red flush appeared across Hisoka’s cheekbones and he giggled, as giddy as a schoolgirl. 

“What’s so funny?” Chrollo looked confused. 

Hisoka brought a hand to his own cheek to hide his surprising bashfulness. He pointed to Chrollo’s lower half. 

“I can see up your towel~”

Chrollo had been manspreading again, and as a result, his towel didn’t do a good job of covering him. 

Instead of becoming embarrassed, however, Chrollo didn’t move at all from his position. He just smirked like he was proud to make Hisoka blush the way he was. It just fed into his ego, honestly. 

“You dance beautifully. Both of you do.”

“I am a man of many talents~” 

Hisoka plopped down into Chrollo’s lap without warning and leaned back into his chest until his skull hit the back of the couch. 

“You could at least warn me before you decide to throw all of your weight on me.” Chrollo sounded pained, but Hisoka could tell that he was exaggerating. 

“I most certainly will not.” Hisoka turned his head and spoke into his ear, “You’re just going to have to deal with my 200 pound ass on top of you, and if you die, you die~” He shrugged. 

Chrollo wrapped his arms around his torso, and kissed his flushed cheek. Their size difference, along with their current positions, must paint an amusing picture, he thought to himself. 

“If I die being crushed by your ass, then I would count it as a good death.”

“You better count it as the best!~” 

Chrollo’s wet skin was sticking to the couch, and if he was to be honest, it was starting to feel incredibly uncomfortable. Hisoka began fidgeting in his lap, moving his hips, and rubbing against him slowly. 

“Are you trying to get me aroused?” 

“No, of course not.” Hisoka lied, “Why would I do that?” 

Chrollo kissed his shoulder, and Hisoka stopped moving altogether. 

“You stopped.”

“I’m too tired.”

“Okay...” 

Chrollo was a little annoyed. He was just starting to get hard, and now Hisoka is suddenly too tired? Hisoka’s moods were always so volatile. 

Hisoka closed his eyes, and Chrollo could see now how dark the skin was underneath. 

“What time did you go to sleep last night?” 

“Later than you~” He replied. 

Chrollo closed his eyes alongside him, and breathed in his scent. He imagined the way Hisoka and Illumi were pressed against each other as they flowed with the music. The sound of their chaotic feet more harmonious than the music itself. He felt as if he could feel their hearts beating in time with their every move, their every word, and their every look. 

Illumi’s black silky hair had been caught in Hisoka’s nails once or twice when they would rearrange their sweaty palms, and Illumi would grip Hisoka so hard in response, his shirt would have wrinkles for days. 

He thought about these pleasant small moments, and how he was happy to be able to bask in them. 

When he opened his eyes, everything in the room felt much brighter than before. 

“I should go change. I haven’t even dried off properly.” Hisoka didn’t move. He didn’t even respond in the slightest. “Hisoka?”

Chrollo could tell his breathing had changed, and that the red head had found himself in a deep sleep. 

Just then, Illumi exited the bathroom in a long navy satin robe, and his hair wrapped in a towel. He walked around the back of the couch, placed his hand on Chrollo’s shoulder and rubbed firm circles into the back blade. Chrollo let out a faint hum in delight. 

“You haven’t changed yet?”

“Hisoka fell asleep on me.” Chrollo replied. 

Illumi smiled, and brought up his other hand to run his fingers through Hisoka’s hair fondly. 

“Did you keep him up all night with your magic stroke game?” He asked playfully. 

“No.” Chrollo laughed, “I think he just got too used to having you in our bed when you stayed all week the last time. It doesn’t feel the same without you.” 

“Well, I’m staying again tonight, and hopefully again this weekend unless my father needs me.”

“Ah.” 

Illumi’s father, Silva, did not get along well with Chrollo at all. The man could never remember Hisoka, but Chrollo felt that was at least better than being remembered for all the wrong reasons. 

“Don’t pout. He’ll come around to accepting you one of these days. I mean...he’s going to have to, because the two of you are too important to me now.” He leaned over and kissed the top of Chrollo’s head. “Hey, can I sleep in your lap too? I heard it’s the most comfortable place to stay in the whole town.”

“My lap is kind of booked at the moment, but we might be combining our business with the bed up the street very soon.” He said, pointing into the bedroom, “I heard they have the best reviews.” 

Hisoka let out a rare loud snore that made Illumi laugh. 

“Well, that sounded like the only review that matters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw some lovely fan art a long time ago of Hisoka licking Illumi's eyeball and I think about that a lot...


	3. Bar Hop

“Hisoka, would you like to come clubbing tonight?” Illumi asked over the phone. 

“Ah, you were going clubbing without me?~” He sounded so upset. 

“I hope you know I’m talking about going to a club and not the actual act of clubbing people.”

“Of course!” Hisoka laughed. “The second one sounds more fun, though~” 

“Chrollo and I were thinking about going downtown for Bar Hop Night. There are discounts on the drinks.” 

“You’re hurting my feelings, Lu. I wish I could come, but I have a paper due tonight.”

“Since when do you turn in your papers?” Illumi was surprised. Although Hisoka was smart, he couldn’t care less about actually doing his schoolwork. Ever. It was actually a miracle he hasn’t failed. 

“Since it counts for a big percentage of my grade. My professor gave us a paper assignment instead of a test this time around. I didn’t do well on the last test, because I didn’t study, so I have to do this one.” He admitted reluctantly. Illumi could imagine the exaggerated frown etched on his face when he said it. 

“That sucks…” 

Illumi was never good with comforting words. 

“You and Chrollo can go have fun though~”

“We won’t be out too late, I have to help my mom with something in the morning, so I can’t stay over.”

“Now you’re just making me even more disappointed.”

“I think you’ll live.”

“Can you tell Chrollo to bring me a slice of pizza from the place on the corner?~” 

“Sure thing.” 

—

The club was overflowing with people, and the dance lights, which were almost blindingly bright, made it difficult to move around properly. Chrollo and Illumi had situated themselves near the end of the bar. They had only gone to two clubs so far, but the atmosphere was less to be desired in both. It was difficult without Hisoka there to buffer Illumi from the surrounding people. He was a little more extroverted, but Chrollo was still the most sociable of the three. 

Illumi had a small fruity drink he chose at random off of the menu. It was much more expensive than what he had planned to be spending, but Illumi had more money than he cared to admit to most people, so it didn’t matter much to him.

Chrollo was on his fourth beer, and making friends faster than Illumi could count. He had a secret charisma about him that made people warm up to him quickly. He was a smooth talker, intelligent, and could make a follower out of almost anyone. He was the opposite of Illumi, who was usually a wallflower. 

“You would be a wonderful cult leader.” Illumi whispered in his ear. 

“I’m sorry, Lu. I didn’t mean to turn my back to you.”

“You’re a social drinker. It’s fine.”

“You’re probably wishing Hisoka was here.” It was hard to hear over the upbeat music, and the drunken loudness surrounding them. “Let’s go outside.”

“Thank you.”

Chrollo turned to a few of the men he had been chatting with, and thought of the first excuse that came to his mind.

“My boyfriend is feeling sick, so I think we will be heading home now.” 

There were a lot of disappointed shouts and groans, and it almost made Illumi feel bad for making Chrollo leave his new friends so early. 

When they exited the club, Chrollo wrapped an arm around Illumi’s waist as they walked. There was a slight chill outside, and both of their sides, pressed closely together, was a welcoming source of warmth, and Chrollo’s arm was a bonus comforting pressure. 

“You didn’t have to leave if you were having fun.” Illumi admitted.

“You didn’t seem to be having a good time.”

“I enjoyed watching you. You have a wonderful way with people. It’s no wonder you have managed to snag two beautiful boyfriends.”

Illumi watched as the corners of Chrollo’s mouth spread into a smirk. Chrollo loved having his ego stroked. That was for sure. 

“I know it’s due to our crazy time schedules, but sometimes…I feel like…you and Hisoka hang out a lot, or Hisoka and I are together all the time, or it’s all three of us spending time together, and I love every moment of it. I wouldn’t trade those times for the whole world, but…it has been a very long time since the two of us were alone. When you told me Hisoka couldn’t come, I thought this would be a good opportunity for us to go out, and have a nice time together, but it didn’t work out the way I had planned.”

They stopped walking for a moment, and Illumi moved so that they would be face to face. He leaned in a kissed Chrollo on the forehead, right in the middle of his tattoo.

“I appreciate the effort. I would love to have a date with you sometime.”

“We will plan it better next time.” Chrollo nodded, his dark eyes glimmered under the streetlight. He was so handsome, Illumi thought; he wanted to kiss him again and again until he could steal his breath away from him. Maybe they could just sit there on the street and kiss until they got too tired, and then suck on each other’s necks in the dim and flickering lights. That reminded him of something Hisoka would do. 

“You know, dates alone are always nice, but I feel that even when we are alone together, we both…”

“Miss Hisoka?” Chrollo answered.

“How did you know I was going to say that?” Illumi was surprised that Chrollo had been thinking the same thing. 

“Because I was thinking about him too, and it’s also because…me and Hisoka say the same thing about you when you aren’t with us.”

“Really? That’s funny, because when Hisoka and I are alone, we same the same thing about you too!” He broke out into a smile. 

“Look at us, all hopelessly in love with each other. How nauseating.” He teased softly, but suddenly, the look on Illumi’s face changed, and he was no longer smiling, but looking incredibly serious. “What’s wrong?”

Illumi nodded over Chrollo’s shoulder, and when Chrollo looked back, it seemed to be a group of obnoxious guys making their way down the sidewalk towards them, shouting obscenities, and throwing things at the people passing by. 

“I know these guys. They come out here a lot looking to cause trouble. Hisoka used to egg them so that he could fight them. I would rather ignore them. They’re just drunken idiots.”

“What did you call us?!” One of the men shouted at them, seeming to have heard their conversation. 

Chrollo ignored the shouting, and refused to even look at them twice. He immediately pulled Illumi by the hand, a few more blocks until they went inside the popular corner pizza place. 

“They shouldn’t follow us in here.” Chrollo announced, before walking up to the front desk, “You said Hisoka wanted me to bring him a slice, right?” Illumi nodded, and Chrollo could tell he was getting tired. “Do you want one?”

“No, I’m not hungry.” 

They waited in mostly silence, but Illumi held Chrollo’s hand tightly, and that was enough for them. 

When they walked out the door, pizza in hand, Illumi was hit with a sudden wave of airborne beer. It was so unexpected, he gasped, and stood there as it soaked through his hair and stained his shirt. 

The group of guys, who all seemed much less tough now that Chrollo could see them up close, had been waiting for them to come out of the restaurant, so they could essentially harass them in someway. This seemed to be the method they chose. 

Chrollo could see red at the moment, he was so angry. As the men began laughing in hysterics, he thrust the pizza box into Illumi’s hands, and walked towards them. 

“Which one of you threw that?” Chrollo sounded so calm when he spoke, as if nothing was wrong at all, but Illumi could tell how pissed off he was by the set of his shoulders. 

These guys were screwed. 

When none of them seemed to respond, Chrollo grabbed the guy in the middle roughly by the collar, and threw him to the ground with incredible strength. The man moved around, flailing his fists in an attempt to hit Chrollo, but his intoxication made him slow, and Chrollo got the first hit in. Then the second one. Then the third. Chrollo’s moves were so fast; Illumi couldn’t even keep up with them. 

The man, whose nose appeared to be broken at this point, was already spitting up blood along with the edge of a chipped tooth. Some of it splattered upwards onto Chrollo, who didn't seem to flinch in the slightest. Just as Illumi expected, the man’s peers seemed to cower back, one or two even bolting away in a sprint. Chrollo picked the man up by the collar again, and threw him into the street. 

“I don’t want to see your face again.” His voice was still calm. 

The man crawled to his feet and ran down the road with the rest of his friends. Chrollo panted heavily for a moment, and his fist was still clinched at his side. He felt Illumi’s arm wrap around his own, and his chin press into his shoulder, as he bent down to be more at level with him. 

“You were so fast and brutal, I almost didn’t recognize you.” Chrollo could smell the beer that was now in Illumi’s hair. They were both definitely going to need a shower when they got home.

“They were pathetic. It only took a few hits before he surrendered.”

“Not that I need a knight in shining armor to fight for me” Illumi rolled his eyes a bit, “but I couldn’t stop watching you…It was kind of hot, I have to say.” He took his thumb and wiped a spot of blood off of Chrollo’s cheek, and gave a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Hisoka is going to die when he finds out he missed this.”

Chrollo turned around to look through the window of the pizza place. A manager was looking out at them with an uneasy expression, while the phone was pressed to her ear. 

“We should probably leave before the cops show up.”

___

Chrollo pulled up to the Zoldyck residence, and parked the car just outside the gate. 

“Should I walk you up? I don’t really want your dad to see me with bloodstains.”

Illumi laughed, as he ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the stickiness of it.

“I think it’s better if you stay in the car.” He leaned over and kissed Chrollo sweetly, “Thank you for taking me out. I had more fun than you think I did. I could watch you for hours.”

“I’m flattered.” Chrollo kissed him one more time, before sticking his nose to the side of Illumi’s head, and breathing in, “I’m so glad we didn’t get stopped by the cops.”

Illumi gave an amused huff through his nose, and pulled back, shaking his head. 

“Give Hisoka my love, when you get home. I will probably see you both tomorrow afternoon.”

Chrollo watched Illumi as he walked inside. He swears he could see his father peeking through the curtain on the upper floor, and a chill ran up his spine. It made him feel like a high school student, dropping off his first date.  
This family was ridiculous, he thought. 

___

Hisoka stood frozen in the doorway, glaring at Chrollo’s face with an expression that Chrollo could not quite decipher. 

“Here’s your pizza.” He handed him the box. 

“You have blood on you…”

Chrollo walked past Hisoka and into the apartment, as Hisoka slammed the door and followed him through the living room so closely, he may as well jump him already. But he didn’t. Instead he placed the pizza on the counter, and stared at him with wide eyes. 

“It’s not mine. A drunk guy threw a drink on Illumi, so I got into a fight.”

“Who won?” His voice sounded hoarse. 

“Me, of course.” 

The atmosphere was tense, and Chrollo could tell that Hisoka was getting turned on. He was predicable in that way, at least. 

“He didn’t get a single hit on you?” Hisoka inspected him with his eyes and couldn’t find a single scratch on him.

“No.”

Hisoka was acting starved, but not in the way he was before. 

“I can’t believe I missed it~” He sounded like he was genuinely sad for a moment, but Chrollo could see the lust in his eyes. Hisoka looked down at the small blood spot on the collar of Chrollo’s shirt, right by the neck.

“It was over before it began.” 

The tension broke. 

Hisoka had his arms and legs wrapped around him in an instant. Chrollo almost fell to the floor from the sheer force of him. Hisoka was devouring him, and running his fingers through his hair, and suddenly Chrollo didn’t feel as tired as he did a moment ago. 

“You got me really stirred up~” Hisoka breathed in his ear, as he moved to kiss along his jaw. There wasn’t a lot of blood, but just enough specs on his skin for Hisoka to notice. Chrollo thought he should probably be a little disturbed by Hisoka’s sexual fascination with violence, but he wasn’t really. It only made him more interesting. 

“I’m not getting sleep tonight, am I?”

“No~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this was so cheesy aljdasklfk im so sorry lmao  
> @ Illumi saying Chrollo punching people is hot: ME TOO BITCH THE FUCK  
> I feel like Illumi could have ended those guys immediately, but for the purpose of me being horny for blood covered chrollo, it was easier to just have him watch ;)


	4. Nightmares

Hisoka was not one to talk about his past. On occasion he would mention his mother, but only if he brought her up himself, and he never indulged in his memories for too long. Neither Chrollo nor Illumi ever dared bring it up to him. They felt it was a sore spot for him in someway, and even though they both thought it would be healthier to talk about it, there was still fear surrounding the subject. They had brought it up once at the beginning of their relationship, and Hisoka had reassured them that when he was ready to talk about it, he would. 

As much as Hisoka’s brain had boxed and filed away whatever trauma or bad memories he seemed to carry with him, at times a sliver of something would slip out. This usually occurred in the form of nightmares. 

Hisoka would rarely dream, but a few times in his life he would be stricken by terrible nightmares. Luckily, all three of them would be together when it would happen. The first time it happened, it had startled both Chrollo and Illumi. They had never seen Hisoka shaken by anything before. It was odd seeing him in any way vulnerable. It was like looking at a different person. 

Illumi, in all other situations that required comforting, was not the best at it. However, he somehow managed to know exactly what to do to help Hisoka through. 

“My little brother has nightmares sometimes.” He would say. 

Chrollo often left Hisoka and Illumi to themselves during those moments. He was afraid if Hisoka became overcrowded it would only stress him out more. He wondered if it made him a bad boyfriend to distance himself when his boyfriend was in pain. He just didn’t know how to deal with it. Illumi was always there, and he was so good at comforting Hisoka back to sleep. He felt that his assistance was unneeded. Hisoka never brought up the fact that when he would wake up from a terror, Chrollo would not be by his side. He probably didn’t even notice. That’s what Chrollo would tell himself, at least. 

Luckily, these events did not happen often. They were rare to the point where they often went forgotten. It was not until one night when Illumi was not there to provide comfort from the nightmares, that Chrollo learned how to take care of Hisoka himself. 

___

The room was pitch black, and all was silent except for the soft pattering sound of rain on the roof. All was peaceful in the night...until it wasn’t. 

Chrollo awoke suddenly to the sound of a high pitched scream. He shot up out of bed and turned on the nearby lamp, stumbling his way around the room, still groggy and half asleep, before he realized the scream had been from Hisoka. 

Hisoka was sitting up in bed. The covers were around his waist, his hands cradled his face, and he rubbed his eyes roughly, as if to remind himself that he was awake. 

He was shaking slightly, and Chrollo stood frozen, afraid to say anything at all. It was only when Hisoka’s breathing became more harsh that his worry caused him to speak up. 

“Hisoka?” Chrollo didn’t know what to do. They didn’t talk about this ever. He looked around subconsciously for Illumi, who wasn’t there. “A-Are you okay?” There was a pregnant pause, before Hisoka managed to breath out something unintelligible. “What should I do?” Chrollo got back on the bed and moved closer towards him. 

“Nothing...just...don’t touch me.”

“Okay.” Hearing that kind of hurt, but Chrollo didn’t want to admit that. “Should I call Lu?” 

“At this time of night? He would kill you.”

“Not if it’s for your sake.”

It was silent for a while, but Hisoka’s breathing was starting to even out. 

“Do you want some water?” Chrollo was at a loss, but he was attempting to at least try to sound more confident. 

It was such a small request, but it made Hisoka feel a little better, and his lips curled at the ends. 

“Chrollo, you sound more terrified than I am, and you’re the bravest person I know.” 

“You worry me. I want to take your pain away, but I don’t know how.” 

“I would rather you didn’t leave the room.”

“Then I won’t. Do you want to stand up? Walk around?” 

“I want you to talk to me.”

Chrollo blinked hard, his eyes were still adjusting to the light. He moved closer to Hisoka, not touching him, but enough to let him know he wasn’t going to leave. 

“What does Illumi usually say to you?

“It doesn’t matter what Illumi says to me. What does Chrollo say to me?”

“Chrollo says...he loves you, and he wants to help. He’s never made the effort to learn how, because the situation is frightening to him. It’s the only thing he’s ever run away from. He’s a terrible boyfriend.”

“Don’t try to victimize yourself right now, you asshole.” The statement didn’t really have any bite to it, but it was the truth. Chrollo was so busy feeling guilty for not helping, that he didn’t bother to take the opportunity to try. 

“Hisoka, do you remember...when we went down to the beach, and Illumi fell asleep so we buried his body in sand and he got mad.” Hisoka smiled softly. He did remember that. It was a pleasant memory. “Or the time I ate so much caramel pudding that I threw up?”

Hisoka let out a laugh. It was gentle and genuine. 

“Yeah...You were mad that neither of us felt bad for you.”

“But Illumi gave me a hot water bottle...and you stroked my hair while I lied on the couch.” He hovered his hand over Hisoka’s own, and despite the man’s previous request, he slipped their fingers together. To his relief, Hisoka squeezed back. 

“Remember when you won me a goldfish at the fair and it died after a week?”

“Did you even name it?”

“Cuddles~” 

Chrollo laughed into his shoulder.

“You wanted to give it some elaborate funeral...the way a child would, and Illumi just flushed him.”

“You know, that wasn’t very nice of him~” He stated in a very matter of fact manner. 

“Can I hold you?” Chrollo whispered suddenly. 

Hisoka nodded, and wrapped his arms around him immediately. Chrollo lightly kissed his neck, as he embraced him. The sound of their hearts beating fast in their chests was louder than the rain outside. 

“You’re so good to me...so good to us. I don’t want you to feel like you aren’t doing enough. Out of the three of us...you are the most...tender hearted.” 

“I should have learned how to deal with this. We should have talked about it.”

“It’s my fault. I avoid it too.”

“I wish you would...talk about it.”

“One day, I will. I promise.” 

Chrollo released him, if only to turn off the side lamp, and plunge them back into darkness. He felt for Hisoka’s skin, blindly laying him back down into the sheets. He rested his head in the crook of his neck, and wrapped an arm around him tightly. 

“I’m starting to see a pattern.”

“Oh?”

“I hold you: no nightmares. I don’t hold you: nightmares. I think I’m onto something.” 

“Are you now?” He scoffed. Chrollo could picture how devilish Hisoka’s grin must be right then. 

“I will just have to hold you all night from now on.”

“Sounds like a good idea~” Hisoka nuzzled his way into Chrollo’s hair. They laid like that for a few minutes, before Chrollo yawned and spoke again. 

“Illumi is coming over...tomorrow morning...we should...have pancakes.” He slurred. 

“You sound so cute when you’re tired~” Hisoka ran his nails up and down his back. “Go to sleep.”

“I have to stay awake to fight the nightmares off of you.” 

“I think you’ll scare them off with your snoring, Hon~”

“...Don’t...snore...” 

“Goodnight, my brave knight~” Hisoka kissed the top of his head. 

The rest of the night was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the self-indulgence is strong with this one!!!
> 
> @ Bia, your dinner idea will be next chapter ;)


	5. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge Shoutout to Bia for this wonderful prompt!!!!

“Why don’t you both come over to my place for dinner tomorrow?” 

“What?” Chrollo was staring at Illumi as if he had grown a second head. 

“I think that sounds nice!~” Hisoka chimed in from the kitchen. 

The three of them were gathered around the dinning room table, and although Hisoka had just made them a very lovely meal, Chrollo had suddenly felt his appetite leave him. 

“Wait a minute,” Chrollo put his fork down onto his plate, “You want us to eat dinner...with your family?” 

“Yes.” Illumi said it with such a serious expression that Chrollo was almost floored by his audacity to suggest such a thing. 

“Did you forget that your dad hates my guts?” He laughed nervously. 

“Not everything is about you, Chrollo~” Hisoka teased ironically, “Suck it up for Lu.”

Chrollo grimaced, and turned in his chair to face Hisoka accusingly. 

“Easy for you to say. They just constantly forget you exist. I would rather them forget I exist, than have them wanting to burn me at the stake every time they see me.”

“Why are you always so dramatic about this?” Illumi sighed, “It’s not like you. You sound like Hisoka.” 

Hisoka walked over to pinch and pull at Chrollo’s cheek as if he was a child. 

“He’s just being a scaredy cat, I think~” He hummed, playfully. 

Chrollo swatted Hisoka’s hand away and stuffed his mouth with a fork full of potato. 

Hisoka was always a better cook than him. He’s sure Illumi was too. Chrollo burns almost everything he attempts to make, so Hisoka makes most of their meals. A break from the usual routine, however, did sound a little tempting. 

“Anyway, I talked to my parents about it, and they said it was fine. My mom was very excited to hear that you two will be coming.”

“You already told them we were coming?”

“Don’t worry, Lu, we will be there. I’ll drag Chrollo by the ear if I have to~” Hisoka laughed. 

“Oh, Hisoka?” Illumi asked. 

“Yes?”

“I don’t want you embarrassing me in front of my parents. If you say anything inappropriate, or get even a little bit too touchy, I’m kicking you out.” Illumi glared at him. 

“You sound so serious. It breaks my heart.” He said, dramatically. 

“I am serious. You have to promise me.”

“Okay~ I promise not to say anything inappropriate in front of your parents.”

“And?”

“I also promise not to touch you inappropriately in front of your parents.” He smiled, attempting to seem innocent in the matter, but Illumi could tell he had something up his sleeve. 

“Good.” 

“Well,” Chrollo announced, “I suppose it would only be for a few hours.” 

“It’ll be fine.” Illumi reassured him. 

—

Chrollo was already anxious by the time they pulled up to the house. Illumi was supposed to drive them there, but he decided to stay home and help his mother. Chrollo is convinced he did it on purpose just to mess with him. Hisoka and his antics were rubbing off on him, he supposed. 

“You seem calm.” Hisoka indicated.

“I do?” Chrollo laughed. He didn't feel calm. “We are here early. Do you want to just sit in the car?”

“Why would we sit in the car? Illumi is inside, don’t you want to see him?”

“Of course.” Chrollo straightened up, and pulled at his collar to clear his throat. “I feel over dressed.”

“You look handsome~” 

“You’re wearing a sweater. I put on a fucking tie!” He yelled. 

“Then take the tie off. Don’t take your frustrations out on me...actually...you can do that later~ hmm” 

“Hisoka.” Chrollo sighed. If he said anything like that in front of Illumi’s parents, he might die. “Be good for Illumi, please. You promised him.”

“I did promise him.” Hisoka confirmed, “Now, let’s go!”

“Fine. Fine.” 

When they got up to the door, Chrollo was surprised to see that Illumi’s younger brother, Killua, opened it before they could even get a single knock in. 

“Hello, Killua. Do you remember us?~” Hisoka looked down at him, and waved sweetly. 

Killua rolled his eyes slightly. He had a chocolate bar clasped in his hands. 

“Yeah, you’re Aniki’s boyfriends, right?” He took a large bite of the candy. 

“Yes.” Chrollo nodded. 

Killua stepped back to open the door.

“Come on in. My mother is going crazy over having you over.”

“Where is Illumi?” 

“The kitchen. I’ll show you.”

Chrollo followed Killua into the house, his eyes roaming over the expensive decor. He had the biggest urge to steal something, but he knows it wouldn’t end well. 

Hisoka followed behind him so closely, he was almost stepping over the back of his heels. He would put a hand on Chrollo’s shoulder to stop him, and point to something that looked particularly glamorous. 

“That would look good in our bedroom~” He whispered. 

“You don’t mean that.” Chrollo shook his head. He knew what Hisoka was doing. “You just want me to take it, because you think it’s fun when I steal things.” 

“Ah, you got me!~” 

“I can hear you.” Killua spoke up, “Don’t think about taking anything, my dad will notice.”

A shiver ran down Chrollo’s back. 

“Where is your father, Killua?”

“Upstairs. He will be down soon.”

When they got to the kitchen, Illumi was standing with his mother by a boiling pot. He was dressed in a bright purple apron, and Hisoka couldn’t help himself from making a comment. 

“Oh, Lu! You look like such a doll~” 

Illumi looked up at them, and smiled softly. 

“So you did show up, after all.” The comment was directed towards Chrollo more than Hisoka. 

“Of course, I would do anything you ask of me.”

“You don’t have to kiss up to me just because my mom is here.” Illumi laughed. 

Illumi’s mother, Kikyo, turned around to greet them, and instantly, Chrollo could tell Illumi got his looks from her. 

“It is nice to see you, Mrs. Zoldyck. Thank you for inviting us.” 

Chrollo wanted to hold out his hand, but he feared it would be too sweaty from nerves. Illumi could tell from the way he was clasping it beside him. It amused him that out of everything in the world for Chrollo to be nervous about the most, it was meeting his parents. He supposed he should be thankful to have an otherwise fearless boyfriend. His parents would probably enjoy hearing that. 

Kikyo placed a hand on Chrollo’s bicep, and gripped him harder than he was expecting. Her tone was sweet, but her actions were intimidating. 

“It is nice to see you too, Chrollo.” She looked past him to Hisoka, whose eyes lit up in mirth as he held out his own hand. Kikyo took it, and squeezed. “And you as well...”

“Hisoka.”

“Hisoka.” She repeated. 

Illumi wanted to bust out laughing at his family’s inability to remember anything about Hisoka, no matter how many times he’s mentioned him. Illumi supposed if he was anyone else, it would upset him to have his parents barely acknowledge his significant other, but knowing how Hisoka was, he only found it amusing. 

“You have a beautiful home. We were admiring your choice of decor on our way to the kitchen.” Chrollo stated. 

“Oh!” She beamed, “My father picked out most of it. There are a lot of antique family heirlooms. I’m sure he would love to hear you say that! He’s upstairs right now with Silva, but you can tell him at dinner if you would like.” She looked over at Killua, who had been standing in the doorway, “Killua! Were you eating chocolate?!”

“No, mom!”

“I can see it on your face! What did I tell you about eating sweets before dinner? Go wash your face, right now!” She yelled frantically. 

Killua let out a big sigh as he exited the room. His father passed him on his way out. 

“Killua, where are you going?” Silva asked. 

“Bathroom.” He said as he darted away. 

“No running in the house!” 

—

It wasn’t long until Kikyo sent Chrollo and Hisoka out of the kitchen, that they found themselves seated in a waiting room, alone with Silva. 

It was Chrollo’s worst nightmare. 

There was a single tall coffee table, which took up most of the space of the room. It was surrounded by two loveseats on either side. Chrollo and Hisoka were seated on one loveseat, while Silva occupied the one across from them. 

“Thank you for allowing us into your home~” Hisoka smiled gleefully. 

“Of course. You are dating my son after all. By the way…how does that work, exactly?”

“Excuse me?” 

“I mean...you both just…share him?” Silva almost seemed more awkward asking the question than Chrollo felt hearing it. 

“Not exactly. It’s a three-way relationship. You could say we all share each other, I suppose.” Hisoka laughed, wishing he had something to do with his hands, rather than awkwardly cling them over his crossed legs. 

“There is no competitiveness between you? No possessive feelings over one another?”

“No. It’s not like that-“ 

Hisoka was cut off mid-sentence by a very large dog, roaming into the room. The dog sniffed around, and stuck out his tongue, drooling all over the carpet, before deciding to plop down at Chrollo’s feet. 

Silva had a strange expression on his face, as the dog rolled onto it’s belly and gave a loud whine. Chrollo hesitantly reached down to rub into his thick fur. The dog’s tail wagged, and Silva gave a small smile. 

“Mike doesn’t like many people. I’m surprised.” He admitted. Chrollo felt his nerves calm for a bit. “Dogs have good intuitions about people.”

“He’s so adorable~” Hisoka cooed down at him. 

When Chrollo stopped petting him, Mike rolled back over, and lazily strolled into the next room. 

“He’s a beautiful dog.” Chrollo commented. 

“We’ve had him for a long time. Illumi was a child when we took him in. He’s trained extremely well. We had an intruder once…let’s say it didn’t end pretty for him.”

For once Chrollo and Silva seemed to be engaged in a conversation that wasn’t tense or awkward. However, the more the interaction flowed, the more it seemed to bore Hisoka to tears. He figured he could do something to make it more fun for himself. He was in the mood to make as much mischief as he was allowed. 

Chrollo tensed as Hisoka reached over to grab the inside of his thigh. Silva was still talking, and Chrollo couldn’t tell if he was able to see Hisoka’s hand under the table. 

He’s a very tall man, Chrollo thought, if he could see Mike at Chrollo’s feet, he could probably see Hisoka’s hand. 

Chrollo’s eyes darted to Hisoka quickly, silently asking him what he was doing. It only made Hisoka brush his hand harder, right against the front of Chrollo’s pants. His hand was warm, and it felt good, but this was absolutely not the time to be doing something like this. 

When Hisoka moved his fingers to the waistband, Chrollo jumped. 

“Hisoka, w-why don’t you go check up on Illumi? See if they could use some help.” 

Hisoka couldn’t help himself from laughing. Silva seemed to be aware that something was going on, but he didn’t seem to know exactly what it was. 

“Okay~” He bent over to kiss Chrollo’s cheek, and the dark-headed man’s face couldn’t have been more beet red. 

It wasn’t until Hisoka had left the room that Chrollo realized he had sentenced himself to be alone with Silva. 

If he could get up and run out right then, he would have. 

—

“Who are you?” 

One of Illumi’s younger siblings had stopped Hisoka in the hallway. 

“Illumi’s boyfriend~”

“What’s your name?” 

“Hisoka~”

“Never heard it.” 

“Remember it~” 

Hisoka tried to walk past the child, but they seemed to be standing their ground, blocking his entry. Whether this was on purpose, or unintentional, Hisoka didn’t know.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m trying to find Illumi.”

“He’s with momma.”

“Yes, I know.” 

“I like your hair. It’s pink!”

“It’s fuchsia, actually, but thanks.”

“Is that natural?”

“No.”

“What’s your real hair look like?”

“Ginger.”

Hisoka resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He just wanted to see Illumi, and this child was getting in the way. 

“I’m Kalluto.”

“Aren’t you the one who’s usually with your mother?” Hisoka asked. 

“Oh! I forgot! I was supposed to bring her something.” The child scurried off in a rush, and Hisoka was relieved to be able to pass through the house uninterrupted. 

When he made it to the kitchen, Illumi was by himself, pulling plates from the cabinet. Hisoka snuck up behind him slowly, before whispering in his ear:

“Don’t you have servants who do this?”

Illumi nearly jumped out of his skin. Hisoka wrapped his arms around him before he could shake too much and have the plates wobbling to the floor. Hisoka laughed, before nibbling at Illumi’s ear. 

Illumi couldn’t help but to smile. 

“Usually we do have servants, but I wanted to do it myself. A special treat for you and Chrollo.” 

“That’s so sweet of you~” 

“Hisoka.” It wasn’t a question, but Hisoka hummed in response. “You promised you wouldn’t touch me.” He warned. 

“No, my dear Illumi, I promised I wouldn’t touch you in front of your parents~” He kissed his neck, and pressed against his back, until Illumi had his chest flat on the counter, “I don’t see them around, do you?” Hisoka laid over his back, and moved to bite into his shoulder.

Suddenly, there was the loud sound of a throat clearing. Hisoka released Illumi, and turned around to see Kikyo in the doorway, her hand over Kalluto’s eyes. 

“Boys,” she coughed, “The kitchen is no place for grown up activities.”

Illumi wanted to die. 

He glanced over to the knife sitting by the cutting board. He wondered what it would feel like to slice Hisoka’s throat open for once. 

—

Everyone was seated at the dinner table at last. Illumi’s cooking turned out to be fantastic, and the interaction flowed much smoother than any of them thought it would. 

“Illumi, I can’t believe you were hiding your cooking skills from us!” Hisoka had sounded so offended.

“It’s much better than what Hisoka cooks. That’s for sure.” Chrollo said confidently.

Hisoka stepped on the toe of his shoe for that comment. Kikyo laughed at the two of them, and it made Illumi’s shoulders relax a bit. 

“Why is there an empty chair?” Hisoka asked. 

“It’s torture to get Milluki to come out of his room sometimes. Please, excuse my son’s rudeness.”

“It’s fine, Mrs. Zoldyck. We don’t mind.” Chrollo felt better knowing there were no more sudden Zoldyck family confrontations he would have to deal with. 

He glanced over to see Killua and Alluka sitting at the end of the table, sticking their tongues at him whenever they thought he wasn’t looking. He kept turning his head at them, attempting to catch them in the act. Alluka was too slow, and he saw her sticking out her tongue, and stuck his out in return. She squealed in laughter, knowing she was caught. Killua laughed with her, hiding his face in her shoulder.

The dinner overall, went well. Illumi seemed very happy to see his boyfriends getting along with his family. To his surprise, it seemed his grandfather had taken a liking to Chrollo. 

“Cocky brat.” Zeno had mumbled when Chrollo had made a smartass statement, but the insult had a hint of admiration to it. 

Silva stopped giving Chrollo warning glares, and Kalluto remembered Hisoka’s name when asking him to pass something across the table. 

Illumi would sum up the entire event as progress. 

—

When the dinner was finished, Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi all volunteered to clean up. Chrollo found himself up to his elbows in soapy dishes, as he passed them along to Illumi to dry. Hisoka was stacking them, and putting them away in the cabinets. 

“I’m sorry, I broke your rule, Illumi~” Hisoka whispered, so that no one else could hear. 

“I can only hope my mother never brings it up ever again.”

“What happened?” Chrollo asked, passing a dish to Illumi.

“Oh, it was nothing, Hisoka was just all over me, and pressed me against the counter. Then my mother and Kalluto walked in.” Illumi deadpanned sarcastically. 

“It’s okay, I’m pretty sure your dad saw him grab my dick under the table.”

“What?!” Illumi almost dropped his plate once again. 

—

Chrollo and Hisoka thanked the Zoldyck family for hosting a lovely dinner. Illumi went upstairs to pack some of his things, so that he could go stay at their apartment for the night. 

By the time they drove off the estate, they all simultaneously let out a breath of relief. 

“I’m exhausted. That took too much out of me.” Illumi slouched in the front seat. 

“That turned out...not bad,” Chrollo admitted, “but I am so glad to go back home.” 

“I don’t know what you two were so stressed about. I was fine~”

Illumi turned around in his seat and glared at Hisoka who was sitting in the backseat, fixing his hair in the rearview mirror. 

“You’re in trouble.” Illumi threatened, “You broke your promise.”

“I bent your promise~” Hisoka corrected. 

“You’re on thin ice.”

“What are you gonna do? Spank me?~” 

“You would enjoy that too much.”

“You’re actually going to punish him?” Chrollo asked, “Because you know, he hates to be tickled.”

“Chrollo, no!” Hisoka shouted, “Don’t you dare!” 

“How come I didn’t know about this?” Illumi laughed. 

“I found out the hard way. Gave me a damn black eye.” 

“It was a good look on you~” Hisoka piped up from the back. 

“That’s where that black eye came from?” 

“I elbowed him on instinct.” Hisoka chuckled. 

“You told me you got that from a fight?” Illumi asked accusingly. 

“I thought it would make it seem sexier.” Chrollo admitted.

“I can’t believe you!” Illumi couldn’t stop himself from beaming, “You’re both ridiculous.”

Hisoka leaned up to kiss Illumi on the temple. 

“And that’s why you love us so much~”

Illumi reached a hand backwards to caress Hisoka’s face, as he preened with affection. 

"Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the scene with Kalluto and Hisoka is based off of the scene from the HxH musical, because that line always makes me laugh, I had to add it.


	6. Lazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is really simple, so i hope it's okay  
> I wanted to write more with kurapika and leorio, but i was so nervous that i wouldn't do them any justice so they only make a cameo, not fleshed out unfortunately (i love them tho <3 i wanted to make sure they got at least one small cute moment) also sorry if the transitions are random/awkwardly placed

Illumi was relaxing at the apartment alone for the first time. It was a strange new feeling for him. Illumi wasn’t used to having time just for himself. There were always others by his side, whether it be a family member, or his boyfriends. He was familiar with the feeling of loneliness, but the state of being alone was never something he had to face. 

Chrollo had left early to meet with a classmate for a team project. He had seemed reluctant to leave, but he didn’t have much of a choice if he wanted a good grade in the class. Illumi vaguely remembers him mumbling something about how he didn’t get along with his teammate. 

Hisoka was nowhere to be found. He wasn’t at the apartment when Illumi arrived, and he wasn’t there when Chrollo left. Chrollo hadn’t said anything about him either. Hisoka hadn’t answered any of Illumi’s calls, and frankly, he was getting a little worried. He knows Hisoka could take care of himself, but it was so unusual not to have him around. He was usually glued to at least one of them. 

Illumi debated calling Chrollo, and asking him if he had got in touch with Hisoka, but he didn’t want to worry Chrollo while he was working on something important. He also didn’t want Hisoka to discover how concerned he was about his absence. 

He would never here the end of it. 

Illumi didn’t know what to do with himself at first. He ate some leftovers out of the fridge, skimmed through some of Chrollo’s mature books he likes to hide, browsed through Hisoka’s bubblegum poppy music playlist on the computer, and channel surfed on the TV for a bit. Illumi decided he didn’t like being alone as much as he thought he might. For every second that past with him by himself, he expected the chime of a soft voice at his ears, the touch of a gentle hand on his shoulder, or the tickle of light fingers running through his hair. 

But it never came. 

After about an hour of sitting around and doing nothing, Illumi finally heard the doorknob rattle, and in walked Hisoka…wearing a restaurant uniform?

“Where have you been? I’ve been calling you.”

“Apologies. My phone died. I hope I didn’t worry you too much~” Hisoka looked incredibly tired, “I was at work.”

“Work? You got a job?” Illumi’s big round eyes lit up in shock. 

“Well, you don’t have to act so surprised.” Hisoka huffed. “I work at The Kingsize Grill now. I’m a waiter~” He held out his flat palm, mimicking the action of carrying a table trey. 

“You just never showed any interest in a job before. How long have you been working?”

“Well, I can’t rely on you and Chrollo to pay for everything by yourselves forever. I don't want to be a leech~” Hisoka walked over and plopped on the couch next to Illumi, lowering his head comfortably in the crook of Illumi’s neck. “It’s been two days and I already hate it. It’s so boring, Lu~” 

“I’m sure you’ll get used to it.” Illumi attempted to be reassuring, but he wasn’t so sure he could imagine Hisoka putting up with rude customers, or taking orders from someone he didn’t deem worthy enough to be giving them to him. 

“I get a lot of tips though, so that’s nice~”

“Well, you must be doing something right then.” There was a peaceful silence, as Hisoka closed his eyes, and leaned in to snuggle tighter into Illumi’s side. Hisoka slid a hand under his shirt, and squeezed his hipbone, leaving nail imprints. Illumi could smell the scent of seasoned steak on his clothes. “You should change into something more comfortable.” Illumi suggested in a whisper. Hisoka’s eyelashes fluttered against his sharp cheeks. His face both strong and delicate, was so lovely to gaze upon. 

“You don’t think I look cute in this uniform?~” Hisoka teased, pulling back so that Illumi could look at him directly. 

His uniform was just a black collared shirt, and black pants. It was nothing special, but of course, Hisoka looked good to Illumi in anything. Before he could respond, Illumi expected him to swish away into the bedroom, but instead Hisoka’s face broke into a fond expression. 

“What’s with that look?”

“There is also another reason I took the job.” 

“Oh?” Illumi couldn’t even guess what Hisoka was going to say next. 

“A couple nights ago, Chrollo and I were looking up houses online…for fun…and we saw one in the same neighborhood your parents live in.” At this point Illumi had recognized the gentle smile on his face as one saved for those rare moments when he was being stupidly sentimental and didn’t want to admit it, “We talked about how it would be perfect if we could move there, and then you could finally move in. You wouldn’t even have to worry about your family, because they would be right next door.”

Illumi blinked a few times with a blank expression on his face. He almost felt bad for not matching Hisoka’s restrained enthusiasm. 

“I suppose…that would be really good, actually.” Illumi had lived with his parents for so long, and while he always knew Hisoka and Chrollo wanted him to move in with them, it seems he underestimated just how badly they wanted it. “Houses are much more expensive than apartments, though.”

“It’s just a daydream of mine, really~” Hisoka whined, he looked slightly embarrassed by the thought, “…but I couldn't get the idea out of my head, and I went out and got a job, so we can at least save up for the future. In case it ever does happen.”

Hisoka seemed so pleased at himself for doing something responsible, even if it was a normal step in life; Illumi couldn’t help but to feel proud of him in someway. 

“You know, my family has so much money, we could probably just buy the house, and give it to you.” Illumi suggested.

“I mentioned that actually, but Chrollo isn't too happy about the idea of your dad having something to hang over his head.” Hisoka sighed. He leaned in close and gave Illumi a quick peck to the corner of his mouth. “I’m going to change, you should join me~” He gave a naughty wink, and disappeared into the bedroom. 

Illumi swiftly followed after him.

____

Chrollo stopped in front of the dorm, contemplating whether or not he should just lie and tell Kurapika that he was sick, and couldn't show up that day. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with the blonde. He doesn't know what it was that made Kurapika dislike him so much in the first place. 

When the door opened, Chrollo was surprised to see that it was not Kurapika who came to answer the door, but a very tall man with glasses. 

“You’re Chrollo?”

“Yes…Is Kurapika here?”

“Yeah, come on in.” The man moved away from the door in a clumsy fashion, and Chrollo could sense that he must have felt awkward as Chrollo strolled in, openly unbothered. 

Kurapika came out of one of the rooms as soon as Chrollo entered. He froze, and narrowed his eyes slightly. The room felt constricted with the three of them there. 

“I see you’ve met Leorio.” 

“Not properly.” 

Chrollo turned to shake the man’s hand. He seemed reluctant, but grasped Chrollo’s hand all the same. His grip was a little tighter than what was necessary. Chrollo didn’t want to look into it too much. 

“Why don’t you go get something to eat?” Kurapika suggested, “I know you haven’t had anything since breakfast, and it’s well past lunch time.”

Leorio opened his mouth, as if to say something, but once he saw the calm and reassuring look on Kurapika’s face, he closed it, and nodded. 

“Would you like me to bring you something?”

“I think I would like that.” Kurapika’s voice was soft, and filled with a sweetness that Chrollo had never heard before. Chrollo felt like he had just been intruding on a intimate moment. It was such a simple interaction, yet he could feel it in the air. Now it was his turn to feel awkward. 

“Sorry, if he was being weird.” Kurapika stated, after Leorio had walked out of the door. “He worries too much sometimes, but I suppose I wouldn’t change him for anything.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

Kurapika’s face lit up in a bright red blush, and he refused to even look Chrollo in the face. 

“No, no, we are just very good friends!” He laughed. Chrollo thought the warmth radiating between the two of them had been undeniable. Maybe they weren’t at that stage yet, but he would bet on their future, that they would be. Chrollo was good at analyzing even those minimal interactions. “Now, about this project.” Kurapika had become serious around him again, like he usually did. 

Chrollo hoped that this collaboration wouldn’t take too long. He just wanted to focus on their work, while having as little clashes as possible, so he could get back home to his own boyfriends. 

____

Hisoka and Illumi were lying in bed, side by side, staring at one another for no particular reason other than that they would like to. 

“Lying around alone all day, waiting for one of you to come home, was making me lose my mind.” Illumi admitted. 

“I enjoy being alone every once in a while, but it’s not nearly as fun as being with my two favorite people~” Hisoka rubbed the back of his hand on Illumi’s cheek, and closed his eyes for a moment, centering all his attention on the sensation of the touch.

“What do you and Chrollo usually do when I’m not here? You know…I’ve never actually asked.” 

“Lazy things like this, I suppose. Chrollo likes to read a lot, of course. I watch a lot of those sleazy reality shows that both of you hate. We do homework and chores when we need to…play video games like we sometimes do when you’re here…Oh, and we have a lot of sex” He laughed, “and we talk about a lot of things. Important things. Things…that we need to talk to you about too~”

“Oh?” Illumi felt nervous suddenly. Hisoka was full of surprising announcements today it seemed. “What kind of things?”

“How do you feel about marriage?”

“In general?” Illumi laughed nervously. The question made his stomach tighten a bit. 

“Sure~”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it. In our situation, it would be difficult with there being three of us.”

“But some places do allow it~” Hisoka interrupted. 

“Are you proposing?”

“Not necessarily. It’s just something Chrollo and I have spoke about before with one another. I wanted to bring it up to you now.”

“I think I would like to graduate first.”

“That’s fair~”

The initial tension surrounding the subject was gone, and Illumi was left with a pleasant image of what it would be like to have two husbands. It put butterflies in his stomach, and it made his heart feel like it was going to burst. 

“You both sound like teenagers already planning your perfect lives, even though you literally just got your first job.” Illumi laughed like it was a joke, but the sentiment was true.

“There is nothing wrong with discussing the future. It’s much better than talking about the past~”

“Yeah…I suppose, but you can’t use it as a way to run from the past…” he whispered. 

Hisoka ignored the comment. 

“It’s okay if you’re unsure, you know. It’s not an actual proposal.” Hisoka sounded somber, but Illumi could tell he was just tired, “Just for the record though…” Hisoka yawned, and buried his head deeper into the pillow, “I would be very very happy to marry the both of you~”

“As would I.” 

“Truly?”

“Truly.”

Illumi kissed the corner of his brow. 

_____

Chrollo and Kurapika had been working on the project for an hour, and although they had yet to begin any disagreements, the unease was still in the air. 

They decided to take a break, and Kurapika was spending most of that time texting Leorio, who was on his way back to the dorm. Chrollo was glancing through his phone, trying to look like either of his boyfriends had been answering his texts. Most of the time they never left him alone, and now when he needs them to fill in the awkwardness, he gets no response? He had to sigh. 

“I’ve been wanting to ask you something.” Kurapika said suddenly. Chrollo looked up, startled for a moment. He didn't even realize Kurapika had been talking to him. He thought he had been on the phone. 

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if this is too personal, but…who’s Hisoka?”

“How do you know Hisoka?”

“Their name is tattooed on your wrist.”

“Oh.” Damn Hisoka for that stupid bet. “It’s my boyfriend.”

Kurapika’s eyes widened a bit, as if he wasn’t expecting that answer. 

“Did…did he pass away?”

“What!? No! Why would you even say that?”

“I don't know? Don’t people usually get names on them if it’s someone who died?”

“Not always.” Chrollo couldn’t help but to laugh out loud, “I assure you, he is alive and probably making a mess of our apartment as we speak.”

“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. You put his name right on your pulse, that’s…sweet, actually.” Kurapika seemed surprised. It seemed he couldn’t imagine Chrollo being sweet on anyone. 

Chrollo didn’t want to admit that he only had the tattoo because of a lost bet. That would probably make him sound like an asshole. 

“I have two actually. Boyfriends, I mean.” Kurapika looked like he wanted to say something, but Chrollo interrupted before he could jump to conclusions, “It’s consensual though. A polyamory kind of thing, I’m not cheating on them or anything.” He clarified. 

“I’m surprised you found more than one person willing to put up with you.” 

And there it was: The snark he usually gets from the blonde.

“I’m much more popular than you seem to think I am.”

There was a silence that followed, and then suddenly, Kurapika asked him a question he wasn’t expecting. 

“How do you know when someone likes you as more than a friend?” It was a simple question, one most people ask when they’re much younger, but he supposed Kurapika had no interest in anyone until this point in his life. He would have had no reason to ask before. But why ask him?

“Are you asking me for relationship advice? I’m gonna be honest, I’m shocked.”

“Would you rather I go back to insulting you? Because I like that option much better.” Kurapika furrowed his brows, pretending to be frustrated. In truth, he seemed like he was attempting to hide his embarrassment with sharp tones.

“Is this about Leorio?”

“So what if it is?”

“He likes you, don't worry about it.”

Kurapika let out a deep breath that Chrollo didn’t even know he had been holding. He looked like he was contemplating. 

“You don’t even know him.”

“Oh, but I can tell. I can read a room.”

Just then Leorio himself walked through the door with a large bag of take out, and an overwhelming smile. 

“I think I’m going to head out, and let you guys enjoy your meal. We can finish the project another time this week.” Without another word, Chrollo walked out the door, leaving Leorio to watch him skeptically as he went. 

“That was abrupt.” Leorio commented.

“Don’t worry about it.” Kurapika gave him a soft smile in response. 

Chrollo wasn’t even 15 minutes down the street, before he received a message from Kurapika. He stopped and opened it. 

It read: Thanks. 

Chrollo didn’t feel like he had done much, but he supposed some people just need an outside perspective to give them a little push in the right direction. 

He closed his phone without responding, and the first thought in his mind was of Hisoka and Illumi. He hoped, with anticipating warmth in his chest and a desire to rest his eyes upon their faces, they were still home when he arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wanted to bring up chrollo's tattoo from the first chapter  
> kurapika asking "did...did he pass away?" was a joke at first but its so funny to me i just rolled with it lmao

**Author's Note:**

> I love the petname/nickname "Lu" for Illumi, I think it's really cute ^___^


End file.
